Most people eventually encounter a boss, partner, friend, or colleague that comes across as demanding or controlling when they make requests. They might not express appreciation; fail to acknowledge your contributions; or fail to provide rewards social, monetary or in other concrete form. Their request may come across as controlling as they attempt to micromanage a situation without explaining their rationale for their needs.

One main reason you might not say “no” or confront them is out of concern it will lead to negative consequences in the relationship or for you personally. For example, you may choose to avoid any feedback since you may worry that speaking up could do damage to your career/job position. …

For most of us, a good portion of 2020 was plagued with multi-tasking and a nearly constant division of attention. When we are trying to work from home, we have to help the kids with virtual school. When we are preparing dinner, we need to consider the complications of even the most basic task of safely procuring supplies. Even though we have become accustomed to the 24-hour news cycle, have developed a near dependence on social media, and can generally handle the barrage of information constantly being thrown our way, we are still struggling to focus on every day tasks.

struggling to focus on every day tasks.

As a clinical psychologist, cognitive behavioral therapist, and yoga instructor, I can confidently tell you the good news: focus, mindfulness, and attention are skills you can acquire and hone. With a few minor tweaks, we can teach our brains to tune-out distractions and zoom-in on the task at hand. …

Certainly, we all recognize that these are extremely stressful times. There are health concerns about getting the virus, economic insecurity, family pressures, and daycare anxieties. While some people say that since the entire world is going through this at the same time, it should make us feel better — it doesn’t. Just because other people are experiencing something difficult doesn’t necessarily help to alleviate your fears or stressors.

What does help to alleviate these fears and stresses? Let’s take a look at some ways you can use Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) to work through some of these issues. Of course, if it’s not enough to read an article and practice these ideas on your own, you should certainly seek out professional help from a licensed therapist. …

The human brain is hard wired to protect itself against frightful and anxiety-inducing situations. We will do anything to keep ourselves from falling prey to the all-consuming captor that is fear. But we can also retrain our brain to embrace challenges and face our terrors. By identifying and facing our fears, we are free to lead lives that are controlled by self-awareness and love.

Often, the scariest part of any situation is the physical and emotional reactions it evokes, not the situation itself. The discomfort of sweaty palms, breathlessness, paralysis, and even light headedness are enough to make us want to avoid what unnerves us. So we avoid. And the longer we engage in avoidance, the more limited our life becomes. …


Jayme Albin

Dr. Jayme Albin specializes in Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Kundalini Yoga & Executive Health/Wellness Coaching. Specialties: Biofeedback, Phobias, and more.

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